My Glass Is Half Full
What was wrong with me. Normal problems were mountains, loving people monsters. The rest of the world were happy but I had no place in it. I was a black hole consuming the light and emotion around me. I walked around the supermarket looking downward my shoulders shrugged and heavy. I had a dark loathing of sound laughing, talking, staring and I could find no peace in my world and its people. I bought a paper something I did regularly so I could sit and keep the world at arms length but not be completed disconnected. Whilst I came to terms with and thought of how I would ever love the world again. I realised I was unfamiliar and estranged from happiness. I hated myself for hating everyone and my world. I made it home and like every other day and I sat and started reading the paper. I came across an article and a beautiful picture about a 16 year old local Colchester student Cassie McCord who had been hit randomly by a car on the very same path and time I walked the day before her untimely death. It was a busy and popular high street path that she walked to get to college.
Cassie decided early in her life to be an organ donor for others. The story was covered in the papers for weeks to come. So young, so brave, she walked a different path that day the path to saving life and the path to my heart. I had found my faith in people again a small flame kindled by admiration and inspiration for Cassie it was a wake up call. I decided I would join the lifesaving organ and stem cell donor register and to give blood because of Cassie.
Just knowing someone out there cares for others. Accepting again that people think of others can be the hardest thing when you are in a place where there is no love no patience no care, only judgement. Reading her story was the start of a change within me.
I realised I had just found the answer – there was no need to look any further than within myself . My body was my most intimate possession how could I help others with it. I had to look within me to help out others and myself. With every blood donation my perspective changed people could see something happening within me like the returning smile of someone on the waiting list who had received a life saving organ. All the things wrong with the world on the outside like having the best car , jewellery , fear where nothing to the feeling and value of being able to give life from the inside, my life was in balance again. I shined through a retreating darkness with out the need of anything or anyone. The wanting had gone with the blood.
We cannot see into the future and we are not invincible but we can still be super hero`s. My power was saving life through my body and blood, I was waiting with purpose for a call to save a life with my bodies stem cells comforted by the thought I would save life at my death. Negativity, self doubt, self loathing and worthlessness bounced of my chest and I loved life again. My life was important again because I felt the importance of others, my own wounds were healing with each donation, I lifted my head in pride and saw my inner child sour above the clouds in an endless blue sky with no limits, I was a hero again. Instead of being worthless I was filled with a new confidence and meaning it surged around me like I imagined the blood I gave coursed around the recipients body saving them. My glass was half full because I had given the rest to save a life.
I had come so far since joining the organ donor and stem cell donor registers and making my first blood donation. Don’t give up you do not know what is around the corner or when a opportunity to go on a life changing journey may come knocking at your door. What ever it is you do try doing some thing amazing for others and something amazing may happen to you, you may go to a place and comeback feeling a lot different inside. It may just change your life.
My Glass Is Half Full Because I gave It To Someone Who Needs It
I was in a dark place a black hole consuming the light around me,
Ever wanted to be a hero and do something bigger than just your life but did not know how,
Felt there was a reason you where here but had not found it yet ,
Always looking down at the ground friends few and far between
I had always wanted to be a blood donor and I gathered the courage to go to donate,
By Giving Blood I could save a life ,
Ever wanted to show you care for the world and want to be part off it but don’t know how or where you will be accepted,
Do something more important than just your life and you may change your own perspective on how worthless you are,
You and your choices are the most important things in this world ,
Ever felt alone , ever wondered why I am here ?
I decided to open my heart to it ,
I went to give blood for the first time ,
How many people could I save ?
what is a bigger reason to be alive than to save life,
This was just the start I gave many times,
My wounds were healing with each donation,
I would keep healthy because my body was needed,
I kept happy because I had a purpose,
There was a purpose within my body again like the lifesaving blood I gave,
Again and again I went to give blood,
I could help people here and now ,
I could feel the light of the nurses ,
Worthlessness was leaving with the blood taken,
A vessel of light over flowing for others,
I stopped looking at the ground and I saw a blue endless sky without limit my inner child soured above the clouds saving
the world again,
I was a hero again accept I did not wear a cloak or spit fire,
My super power was saving life through my body and blood,
There was something going on in my soul,
Every person I walk past in the street smiled with me ,
A man throwing money in the street just because he can,
My life was important again because I felt the importance of others,
Negativity and self doubt bounced of my chest and I loved life again,
If I can save just one life anyone can ,
We need to give ,
This can be anything,
And you will get something from it,
Because giving is doing something for your self your soul,
I liked to look at it as though my glass was half full because I had given the rest to someone who needed it.
We cannot see into the future and we are not invincible but we can still be super heroes,
You too can join and start your journey saving life and giving your world a hug.
To be a lifesaving blood,organ or stem cell donor call 0300 123 23 23