How To Be Confident

Best solutions to build self confidence

Being confident is a mindset – it is about the way you think. It is very important to know how to build self confidence, if you want to build your own key to success and be confident in life. Having high confidence levels means having positive thoughts and building feelings of confidence, worthiness and high regard for yourself. Individuals with high levels of confidence feel good about themselves and think positively. They feel a sense of belonging and protection. They respect themselves and appreciate others and really try to build something good for themselves. They tend to be successful in life due to the fact that they feel self confident in taking on challenges, finding positive solutions and running the risk of failure to accomplish what they want and build on the solid foundations they have made. They have even more energy to build and enjoy healthy pursuits due to the fact that their energy is not lost on negative thoughts, unfavourable feelings, sensations of inability or striving to look after or please others at the expense of their own self.

Self Confidence Reservoir

The reservoir of confidence you have relies on many factors – how you were raised, parental attitudes, life experiences, and so on. In some cases people lose esteem and feel bad about themselves because of failures or dissatisfactions, or because of the way others in their lives have treated them in the past. It is very important to know that anyone can build his or her own confidence levels up, and build a successful outlook at any time. Preferably, healthy conditioning would have taken place in childhood; however, the majority of people discover that they must build their own levels to be confident later in life to find the solutions they desire.

Why improve levels of self esteem?

The rewards of knowing how to build confidence and self esteem – to be confident in outlook – include having the resilience to overcome challenges and threats, having healthy relationships, not being kept back by self-fulfilling prophecy, fears and insecurities and to pursue your dreams and desires, having a high level of self-belief, faith and trust, so you make good choices to reach your objectives by finding solutions to challenges.

Positive thinking helps you stop listening to your inner critic and fosters useful positive solutions in changing negative thoughts and behaviours and replacing them with favourable ones that will really build levels of self esteem.

What generates low self esteem?

It is believed that not being confident is caused, in part, by negative emotional responses, negative thoughts. Criticism, teasing, punishment and abuse, poverty, economic deprivation, failure in school and many other factors affect our feelings of self belief and cause people to not be confident in their decision making when it comes to finding solutions to their problems. Rather, the process becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even race, religion, the media, culture and sex have an influence on our belief system and how we feel about ourselves. If we learn how to have belief, faith, trust and be confident in ourselves, finding solutions is easy. However, when negative thoughts and feelings take root early in life, they can build powerful thought patterns that form habits of thinking and become an inner critic. Before long, we begin to think in ways that limit our growth, belief, faith, trust and self confidence. We begin to doubt ourselves and feel dissatisfied – we are unable to build anything substantial in life. We listen to our inner critic and become afraid to find solutions to challenges and feel unworthy, even when we do accomplish important things.

The deeper these negative belief issues take root, the lower our self esteem falls, until we cannot envision what it is like to feel inner self-confidence and to have trust and belief in all we can do.

Low confidence

Not being confident is sometimes hidden by other behaviours used to compensate for the deeper rooted, more painful feelings we wish to avoid. Psychologists tell us that low confidence often masks itself under a false front of superiority, perfectionism, over self reliance, kindness or humility, arrogant or attention-seeking behaviour, hyper-critical behaviour or religious fanaticism. All of these behaviour patterns are meant to shield us from the underlying feelings of sadness, inferiority, fear or insecurity. They allow us to compensate for these unacceptable or painful feelings by giving us a false sense of being okay or right or better than those around us, but they are not long term solutions – we need to build a better belief system and foundation in our lives.

It is necessary to look inside our own memories. It is in our own memories that faith and trust can become emotionally embedded. When it comes to storage and retrieval of memory, in response to a given event, there may be an emotional bias towards negative faith, belief and trust in our own ability to be positive. What tends to happen is that a conservatism bias is created where previous experience and memory dictates the reaction to a present day new experience. There is a need, here, to update our belief system – for most, this takes place slowly. The obvious solution, here, is to take small steps to build our own self belief system. The darker option is to create a list of self-fulfilling prophecies based on an emotional conservatism bias.

Finding Solutions: How to be Confident

Being confident or having low self-esteem tends to develop from childhood and build patterns of positive or negative thinking and behaving. These patterns reinforce self confidence, whether low or high, and become habits. In some cases, these habits can be very destructive, causing us to feed and nurture feelings of low self confidence even when there are no reasons for it. In other words, things in our lives may have changed significantly since childhood and we may no longer be subject to the influences and stored memory that contributed to our low self confidence, yet we perpetuate it by our low self-belief and behaviours and negative thinking – we forget how to trust in ourselves and to be confident.

How to be confident

Some Easy Steps

I. Appraising yourself

Being able to raise your confidence is about liking yourself and appreciating your talents, abilities and attributes, such as problem solving and finding solutions to life’s challenges. This does not mean becoming egotistical or vain. It merely means acknowledging your good traits and qualities. The self concept – how you think about yourself – has a great deal to do with your confidence. If you continually tell yourself  you are a failure, a loser, a poor student or whatever terms you use to put yourself down, you are feeding your lack of confidence and you will create a negative attitude. You are reinforcing what others wrongly caused you to feel about yourself. If you accept that they were wrong, or perhaps ignorant in doing this to you, why would you chose to do the same thing to yourself? It is time to be positive and build a more confident approach to life! It is time to believe, trust and have faith in yourself!

II. Basic solutions for bettering yourself and owning the key to success

Being able to build good levels of confidence commands action; it is not an item you can wish for, buy or borrow. There are solutions you can engage in every single day when learning how to develop self belief, faith and trust and how to be confident.

Listed here are just a few steps to being more confident:

  • try out positive thinking “be confident”
  • just imagine being successful every single day
  • accept admirations and place confidence in them
  • look for new solutions through challenging times
  • recognize your beliefs and build on them
  • value your targets and be confident in them
  • be straightforward in expressing your strengths, competences, and skill-sets
  • profit from positive feedback
  • write your achievements each day and build a diary of your successes
  • allow yourself praise day after day
  • take action on solutions you trust in
  • encourage your corporeal, cognitive and non physical self to take action and be more confident
  • forgive those people who have abused you
  • make time for building self improvement and self belief every day

Learn more about building self belief: Positive Self Talk


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